For Love of Tesslee

So many of our volunteers are angel parents themselves, often still the walking wounded.  As they participate in serving other families that will walk the same path, a miracle happens. They find their own sorrows lessened and their hearts begin to heal.

Angel mama Sara received a Teeny Tears diaper when her tiny daughter Tesslee came into the world still at 21 weeks on March 13, 2012.  Now she and her family are sewing diapers for other angel families.  Sara shared a recent experience on the blog she keeps about her journey.  Sara's post captures so poignantly all the WHYs behind Teeny Tears.

"Last week our family adopted the Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center in Baltimore as our hospital to provide Teeny Tears diapers for the tiny babies lost there. I was sooo excited to be a part of something that means so much to me! Tesslee was given one of these precious little diapers to wear when she was born. When they brought her to me wearing a diaper, it meant the world that although not alive, she would still be clothed and her little bottom covered. She was cremated wearing her diaper, and we were given another that was identical to the one she wore so we could forever have a little keepsake. I know how much these diapers are treasured by the families that receive them!

Last weekend was General Conference, and I could think of nothing better than to busy our hands while we were listening to our church leaders. The kids loved this idea and were anxious to learn how to make little diapers for other angel babies like their Tesslee.
After tracing the diapers, we cut away as we listened to the speakers. I became teary-eyed as one of them quoted from the scriptures,

'For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked and ye clothed me: ...Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?... And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.' -Matthew 25:35-40

The thought of making these tiny diapers for my beautiful Savior and future angel families brings so much joy to my heart!
I love that my children are so willing and eager to serve these angel babies. They did such a wonderful job cutting so many of them out. Jefferson even mentioned he would like to do something along these lines for his eagle scout project.
At one point in the process, which took a couple days, I was having a really difficult evening. The pain of losing Tesslee and all those emotions that come with it began compounding all over again. I sat down at the sewing machine with tears streaming down my face, and began sewing the diapers together. Sometimes I feel so helpless, like I have no control over anything in my life, not my emotions, not my grief, not even being able to do anything to save my baby. I've felt such a loss of control. But as I sat there pushing the fabric through and feeling the power and hum of the sewing machine, I felt like it was the one and only thing I could control; it was my project, and I was making a difference. It was very healing! So I hope the families that receive these diapers can feel the love (and tears) that each one was made with. Being able to serve others this way has helped in my own healing process. I am so excited for the many more batches of diapers there are to come!"
72 diapers will be donated to Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center in Baltimore, Maryland in loving memory of Tesslee Summer Millward.  If you would like to learn more about Tesslee or to follow the journey of this wonderful family as they navigate their tender path, please visit their blog.