"On Wednesday, August 19th, 2009 I had a doctor’s appointment to find out the sex of our third child. Ryan met me at the doctor’s office and we went right in to get the ultrasound. Everything looked so good, except I noticed a big black circle on the ultrasound screen. I asked the nurse nonchalantly what that was, and she said …“I don’t know” I asked the tech if it was normal and she said no. It was then, that my world started to crumble around me. I knew something was wrong, but to what extent I wasn’t sure.
After the tech was done, I was sent to see my OB. He sat me down in the exam room and told me that he didn’t know exactly what this was, but that it was going significantly affect this pregnancy. My doctor was immediately on the phone with a specialist and I was scheduled to see him two days later.
We went Friday to see the specialist and he sat us down and he said that our situation was grave and that the condition our baby had was incompatible with life. He told us that the urethra didn’t develop properly, and because of it the bladder wasn’t draining properly causing there to be no amniotic fluid around the baby.
He told us we had a few options, one being an experimental surgery but my baby’s kidneys had to look good. So the next step was to test the kidneys, and the tests came back inconclusive. One said they were damaged and the other test said they were ok. Because the tests were inconclusive we weren’t sure if surgery was the right route.
So we were left with options that pained my heart. We could give the surgery a shot but he didn’t recommend it or we could do a do a D&C, or wait until our baby passed on his own, or we could go to the hospital and be induced.
We went to the temple to find some clarity and peace on what we were supposed to do. When I walked into those temple doors I knew that I was supposed to say goodbye and the only way I could see was being induced.
I went in at 8:00 am on August 30th thinking I would be there for a few days but my sweet Skyler was born sleeping at 7:38 p.m that night. It was a very painful day, both physically and emotionally.
Both mine and Ryan’s family were all there at the hospital when Skyler was born and I am grateful for the love and support that I felt from all of our family. I felt that same support when they were there making diapers in honor of Skyler’s 5th angel birthday." ~Abby Graham, angel mother to Skyler Jack Graham